Ask me anything (cause why not)

[statictorchMember]

Hey there every people! I’ve been pretty bored lately so I’ve decided to open up this thread. If you’re not a redditer, ask me anything’s are exactly what they sound like. You can ask me about anything and I’ll answer to the best of my ability. I’m a writer, a voice actor, an animator, a musician, and plenty of other things that I’m too tired to remember. You don’t have to ask questions about me, it can be literally anything.

So go ahead, my fellow pooyoos. Ask me anything.

[pariahMember]

What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

[statictorchMember]

@pariah Experts would suggest 42, this is because the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything turns out to be the equation 6 x 9 = ? (it sure as hell isn’t 42) I however have a differing theory. We can infer from the equation that the true answer may be in the question itself, rather than the “answer”, as 69 is a well known sex position, and as sex leads to reproduction, being the primary method of survival for the human race (other methods include cloning and immortality), one can draw the conclusion that the true answer to life, the universe, and everything is sex.

For more information on this subject, check out my new book titled “42 vs. 69″

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  statictorch.

[hamilton6787Member]

where do babbies come from

[statictorchMember]

@hamilton6787 As I stated in my previous answer, sex is the key to human reproduction. Think of sex as a kind of rain dance. When a couple takes part in sex, they have a chance of summoning a babby from one of the 8 spires of Mars. These spires have existed since the beginning of time, and are the true source of all life on Earth. When these spires are activated by sex, they begin to absorb energy from the sun. This energy is then converted to solid matter with a plasma center (kinda like toaster strudels, crispy bread on the outside and gooey… whatever it is on the inside). Once the conversion is complete, it is shot from Mars via a laser that each spire can emit, on to the peak Mt. Everest. Once the babby-to-be arrives on Earth, it is about the size of a small pill, due to the entry into the atmosphere. It is then picked up by an Everest gnome and brought to a sacred stork nest. Storks from all over the world come to this nest and retrieve the babby pills. They then fly to the residence where the sex took place, and sneak a pill into the food of the woman. Once the woman ingests this pill she becomes babby-pregnant, and after nine months or so the babby is born.

[nightmareirisMember]

Who is best pony?

[statictorchMember]

@nightmareiris Epona is best pony, hands down.

 

(Sorry I can’t think of much to say for this one)

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  statictorch.

[nightmareirisMember]

@statictorch

Better response then I expected. Made me giggle.

[pixi4688Member]

Me and my sister have been arguing over who is the hottest Ben from VGA or Toby Turner AKA Tobuscus, which is the right answer?

[soghogMember]

why i am so bald

[statictorchMember]

@pixi4688 While I’ll need to wait a while for the test results to get back, I expect that Ben has a slightly higher internal body temperature.

It’s entirely subjective, but I find Toby more attractive than Ben right now. Ben in the beginning of VGA on the other hand may have been better, though the only real difference is the way his hair was back then compared to his hair now. I do find Ben to be funnier than Toby, so that may play a role in the over all hotness rating. Then again, Toby’s real personality (real as in when he’s acting completely natural, which you rarely see in his videos) to be a bit more likable than Ben’s.

In the end it’s a pretty tough call, but if I HAD to choose one, I’d say Ben is (or has been, rather) hotter. Though I’d probably rather hang out with Toby.

[statictorchMember]

@soghog It’s possible that your exposure to Fraser over the past few years is the cause of your hair loss. You see, baldness works much the same way as yawning. When one person yawns, everyone (yawn, FUCK) who sees him is tempted to yawn as well. In the same way, when someone is bald, everyone who gazes upon that person’s barren head may begin to experience hair loss. My advice for you would be to observe people with amazing hair. Start off with something easy like modern day Bon Jovi, and work your way up to Fabio’s “I can’t believe it’s not butter” commercial.

[pixi4688Member]

@statictorch

Thank you I shall present the answer to my sister :)

[apocMember]

Who can resist that face?

http://i.imgur.com/MoMGV.jpg

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  apoc.

[badthoughtsMember]

If a barber shaves every man in the village except the men who shave themselves does he shave himself?

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