February 9, 2016 at 5:42 pm #155810
-Copied this from my post in the private forum which still exists. I’m willing to talk with anyone that can see this-
Since becoming a Turbo last September my life has dramatically improved. I’ve met so many fantastic people that I can’t wait to meet one day. I’ve also seen people with a variety of issues, some of whom I’ve had the fortune to talk to and support. Whatever you may be dealing with, be it depression, suicidal thoughts, or just stress, I wanted to make this thread to give people an outlet to talk about these things. A common theme I’ve seen is Turbos thinking they don’t matter to this community. Now this thread isn’t to group all these issues together just with a simple “Get Well” message every now and then. Everyone’s problems matter and I want to be there to help everyone dealing with this. We shouldn’t be afraid to talk if we’re having trouble, nor should we think that our problems are stupid. Everyone needs something different, but I just want people to know that me and hopefully other Turbos are here for you. I’ve got problems myself, but this community and more specifically this thread are helping me deal with them. Other turbos have supported me and the intention of this thread is to talk it through, before it’s too late. You’re not alone.
June 19, 2016 at 8:16 pm #160457
Ok so I’m not very good at reaching out to people when I’m feeling down to be honest I am usually always positive upbeat kind of person but my dog passed away Saturday she was with me for three years when I got her I was told she was much younger then I knew she was the vet on Saturday told me she was more like 14 then 10 anyway I just cant stop thinking it was my fault I have no reason to think it was my fault but in my head just keep thinking I did something wrong also I feel bad for being so upset over a pet I mean people go through much worse everyday just wondered if anyone else has felt like this?June 19, 2016 at 10:21 pm #160467
Sorry for the late reply @pixi4688 . I’m really sorry about your dog, really, that’s horrible. I can ensure you, it’s definitely not your fault. The truth is that these things happen and all we can do is deal with it. We lost our cat Cleo a few years ago, and it really did feel like it was our fault, for a time. It takes time, to not forget, but to just remember the happy, positive things about them. You kind of don’t realise how much they mean to you, that they’re basically family.
Here for you :( You will get over it, I promise. Just remember her. And you’re always welcome to talk hereJune 20, 2016 at 8:34 pm #160503
@radladdy sorry for the late response my sleep is all over the place at the moment Thank you and I understand it will take time and I’m just going to keep thinking of the good times with her rather than her last moments and the fact I saved her from being put to sleep 3 years ago all because no one wanted her.July 17, 2016 at 9:17 am #161317
I’m mostly posting out sheer frustration and stress. I hate my job and it is getting far too frustrated with it to continue working there, but I have to make money. Student loans and the like have me by my hair dragging me through this menial hell. Sure on paper, I holds have absolutely nothing to complain about. I work twelve hour shifts of intermittent work. I’m a security guard and I honestly don’t actually work all that much. Which is actually the problem. Most days I game or catch up on shows/movies. When I was 19 and in school this would have been a good fit. My younger sister works with me and it’s a good fit for her, but even she is tired of it. For me, at 25 with a degree under my belt, it is absolutely mind numbing. I’m over qualified and while it is safe, it doesn’t make me feel anything accept defeat. Me a few years ago would kick present me’s ass if she found out what we were doing right now. And this is when things are simple. Over the past six to eight months, the job has become complicated by what I hesitate to call “politics”. You see, I’m technically a contractor. I’m paid by an outside company for my time and this company is horrible. I’m keeping my statements as vague as possible, mostly just to vent my frustrations. But this company has extremely low standards for hiring. If you pass a drug test and background check you get a job, which as led to many incidents. You seen about a year ago, the first shift person quit. Since then we haven’t been able to get replacement. We had one woman come in for two months, then went on maternity leave and just never came back after talking with our boss promising to come back. Since then it has been a struggle. They have sent two or three people to fill the stop but each of them got themselves fired in under a week. Now my boss has been hired on by the company that contacted the contractors and it is causing a whole new set of problems. I would find a new job but the problem is that not a lot of places are hiring in the area and my degree feels worthless if I don’t also have certification to teach, which I don’t want. However, my sister let me know that the community college she goes to pays well to their tutors with 4 year degrees and that they are always looking. That I could do and probably really enjoy it because it would be more personal plus utilize my degree in a way that would be at least a little fulfilling but according to them, the MAX amount of hours you would work a week is 15. Which would halve my pay and leave me with just enough for my bills. So it would have to be something I do in tandem with this job if it going to be any use. Realistically. I could start there for a few months, accrue a savings and then quit here, but still after the savings would be gone, I would be stuck. This whole this is just leaving me stressed and tired and all I want to do is go home and nap. How did I fall this hard? I was trucking along when I graduated and then just hit the bumpiest road possible and now a little above minimum wage. There is this little voice in my head that tells me to just grab my stuff, my cat, and my sister and just run. We can find new lives and work elsewhere. Why can’t I do that…
EDIT: After more crap, they made me cry T-T I was trying to keep all my mental/emotional stuff out of the equation, but they push it passed my threshold. Also I am very sorry for the long post. I just needed an outlet I guess.
July 17, 2016 at 1:27 pm #161323
- This reply was modified 6 months ago by Jesslb429.
I know all too well how you feel.
My last two jobs have been terrible and had really bad effects on my health and psyche.
Not out of the same reasons, but similar enough.
I’m just some random person on the internet, of course, but let me say this: Don’t make the same mistake I made.
Don’t stick with a job you hate just because you don’t know what else to do.
I know how hard it is to find jobs with a degree, none of my jobs ever required one, so I’ve always been over-qualified.
But that’s not always important.
What’s important is that you get out of a job that’s ruining you.
At my last job I got bullied, the one before had a boss who kept calling us in the middle of the night, telling us to come in right now and work a full shift out of the blue.
I kept working both of these positions until they fired me, because it was clear how miserable I was.
For now I would try finding anything that’ll keep you alive.
Hell, if you want you can DM me and I’ll give you the name of the company I’m working for atm.
It probably pays more and you can work from home.
Don’t break yourself for a job, it’s never ever worth it.July 19, 2016 at 3:54 am #161348
What do I do with my Life. ‘
So I turned 20 last June and I’m stuck in my life right now. So I have a terrible problem where I end up having to spend hours in the bathroom being in pain and not being able to get up from the toilet this has made it so I can’t have a life. I can’t work cause no one is going to hire someone who has to spend hours in the bathroom at a drop of a hat. I don’t know what I want to do for a living I have no high expectations for what I want to be If I could just get a job that payed rent and feed me let me spend some money video games I would be completely fine with my life the problem is finding what that job is which I have no idea. I honestly feel like my life is stuck were it is and there is nothing I can do about even if I got my Medical problems fix I still feel lost in this world with no one giving me directions on where to go next I’ve had my whole life until a year ago of people telling me what to do and now that I’m a adult no one can tell me what the next step of my life is and where to go next I feel left Behind by the world and being basically being under house arrest by my own body hasn’t help me with my depression
So if anyone has advise for me I would appreciate Once/If We find out what my Bathroom problem is medically and Hopefully get it fix I plan to contact OVR and get their help in finding a job but until then its staying in my house for me Which let me tell you staying a in a house for a year unable to leave it is not funJuly 22, 2016 at 6:15 pm #161444
@hrotgarmr First and foremost, I apologize for not getting back sooner. I am struggling with my mental health and it feels worse than ever. One of the most important things that I want to say is that I appreciate your offer, while I cannot take it. It means a lot to me. I’m working on a new plan to get myself from underneath it. My psychologist has been helping. But your offer was extremely kind.July 22, 2016 at 7:53 pm #161445
No need to apologize, I know what you mean.
Been coming to the site and shows again recently, but always leave after a while, because I can’t be around people.
Something minor happens and I snap, say something dumb and leave.
So yeah, I feel you, sometimes you need some distance.
I’m glad, however, that you’re getting help, I think it’s one of the hardest things to admit when you need it.
Some of us here probably should be doing the same, but it’s easier to talk to strangers on the web than to a professional where you might find out things you don’t want to know.
Same with my offer. It’ll still stand in the future, but I’m glad you’re working on something yourself.
Doing that step is very important imo, because you accomplish it on your own, which helps with confidence and all that.
I’m just rambling at this point, though.
Just be safe.
Remember that you got friends here and good luck on your journey.July 23, 2016 at 11:07 am #161460
I’m really sorry to hear about you situation. I can’t offer any advice regarding your health or a job, but I do know what it’s like to feel trapped inside. I suffer from a medical condition called ME, that coupled with anxiety and depression meant I used to go weeks or months without leaving the house. So yea, I felt stuck with nothing to work towards, no money and basically no life.
While my health has got worse, mentally I’m doing well these days and one of the main reasons for it was using videogames as a means of working towards something. There’s a few different things you could try, but in my case I started speedrunning games. It gave me a goal to work towards, something I could do in my own time at home and a supportive community to back me up.
It doesn’t sound like much, but that was the first and maybe biggest step towards getting out of my depression. The feeling of achieving a new Personal Best time, setting a new record or contributing to the speedrunning community by discovering new techniques made me feel good and proud of myself for the first time in years.
You’ll still have all your other issues to deal with unfortunately, but maybe trying something like this could atleast improve one aspect of your life, even if it’s in just a small way.July 26, 2016 at 5:07 pm #161530
Sorry for the jumbled mess below but I had to write something.
I really don’t know where to start with my problems but my biggest problem is that i’m antisocial and only leave the house for work and when my dad forces me to go places with him. Growing up my dad would be drunk all the time yelling at my mom and older siblings but back then I was still able to be social and leave the house without getting anxiety. It has traumatized me so bad throughout my life that when ever someone yells at me or someone I know I either get really sad and depressed or really anger and hateful. My problems really started five years ago when my parents told me they were getting divorced and I had to decide which parent to go with. At this point I had already began to become antisocial and decided to live with my mom which was great at first because I could come home from school and go straight to my room without my mom bothering me. After awhile though this bothered me a lot because she was emotionally neglecting me and I was craving some sort of love but never got it which resulted in me becoming hateful towards everyone around me(siblings,friends,mom,dad and everyone else in the world). I eventually snapped,told my mom how I was feeling and that I wanted to move in with my dad. I’m currently living with my dad who is around me 24/7 at work and home which is making me go crazy, he drinks all day and I feel like if I leave him something bad will happen to him. I don’t know who to talk to or what to do but I just had to get this off of my chest. There is so much more wrong with me but this post is already getting to long so I should wrap it up.July 26, 2016 at 6:24 pm #161534
@mrheidenseik Hey buddy. First off, we are always here for you and there is always someone here that you can talk to. And you don’t need to worry about how long the post is (partly because there are longer ones X3, but also it doesn’t matter). I’m glad that you decided to share. I’m sorry for the rough times you’ve had :/ *hugs*
For things to already be bad to begin with, then having to deal with your parents divorcing, I wouldn’t know how to deal with that. You reach a point where you realise how much you need the familial attention that’s been neglected from you, and you’ve learned to live without. And now you’re in a difficult position with your Dad. There are counsellors you can go to help get you into a better position because clearly, you aren’t happy where you are now.
In any case, I’m here for ya.July 26, 2016 at 9:11 pm #161539
@lordkeyblade I’m in the same exact position. I’m about to turn 21 here next week and I seriously don’t care for it like every year. I barely leave the house at all, only if I have to. Still live with my mom, no job and never had one. My anxiety is why I only went to college for two semesters and I had to quit because I just couldn’t be around people. I waste alot of my own time as well at home. My mom has been bugging me to get a job and I’ve always wanted one where I can work at my own pace but I never seem to have any luck with it. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and my time at college was a waste of time because I was just taking classes for no reason and not having any interest in anything there. I certainly believe I have no purpose for my life and is why I’m considering having to go to a psychiatric ward this time. Some people here know a bit of my problems and it hasn’t got any easier the last time I was in the hospital that I’m taking a step further to put myself away for good to finally find some peace in a environment where I can be safe from trying to kill myself again and be happy with a new organized confined life. I’ve been from counselors, psychiatrists, people reaching out to me. The hospital was the best time of my life in a long time and I’m willing to go to a psychiatric ward that will make everything better for me.
It has always been the same and like always I have to end up turning the other way and never talking to them again because it either doesn’t help or with those people reaching out, they get tired of talking to me and leave. I no longer have friends and let them live their lives doing good things, I on the other hand have to be alone because I don’t want them near me and for over a year I think I’m doing a good job distancing myself from everyone.
Basically what I’m trying to get at is don’t be me. I’m not sure if you have any other issues you deal with but I assume you haven’t had any serious suicidal thoughts or at least it isn’t a serious problem. If so, that’s good. I would consider looking for people to help you out with you bathroom issue. You seem to have a big anxiety issue that I have but nothing as close as to being confined in one room. It doesn’t hurt to try and get help from people, but you must face the anxiety or it gets worse. I wish there is more I can say to help you though.July 27, 2016 at 6:52 am #161541
I’m sorry to hear all of this from you. I don’t even claim to understand what is going on inside of you and what it means for you. Just remember, we are here for you.
I really badly want to help you all in some way with what little I have to offer. I mean it doen’t seem much, but maybe I could give some lessons on what I know and share it with you. Maybe it would give you a little more purpose in life or anything. All I can do is programming and writing concepts. But I am also someone who doesn’t have a college graduation but still a good job as a programmer in a company. What I am trying to get at is that you necessarily don’t need college education to learn programming and having a job and you can also do it at home or where ever you want. I could help you some way with learning and I might need a few helping hands on some projects.
I can’t possibly imagine what you have been going through and all I can do is offer a helping hand with as much as I can help you with. We’re here for you, guys.July 28, 2016 at 10:41 pm #161575
I do like the idea of helping each other with skills. It’s a form of motivation. When someone is being productive they feel a little bit more alive. So it’s just another way of being there for one another as a community.
I’m not the best artist, but if anyone has questions about such things you can feel free to message me.July 29, 2016 at 3:10 pm #161604
Don’t have a lot of time and I’m not even sure anyone cares so I’ll make it short:
You won’t see me for a while. I need some time for myself. Good luck, everyone.July 29, 2016 at 3:48 pm #161606
@hrotgarmr I care. :) I hope you’re doing okay. PM me if you need anything. I understand the need to take some time, but take care of yourself. Hope to see you around here when you’re ready.July 29, 2016 at 8:49 pm #161613
Take care @hrotgarmr. It’s important to know when you need to take some time. We’ll be here awaiting your return. ;)July 29, 2016 at 10:57 pm #161614August 3, 2016 at 1:14 pm #161712August 3, 2016 at 3:13 pm #161720
@hrotgarmr I’m right there with you too. I usually leave to take time away for many reasons hoping I can come back to the community, so I wish the best for you and hope to see you here again.August 7, 2016 at 8:09 am #161819
It’s nice there exist a thread like this around. There are probably many people who deal with difficulties.
And it’s not always that easy to simply “seek help”.
I have been denied help several times already myself. And there can be some month long wait on top of that.
But still trying what I can here.August 10, 2016 at 10:13 pm #161981
Again, sorry to be butting in. Honestly, it feels more like I’m being an annoyance at this point. I just….I don’t know anymore. Everyday seems to be more difficult than the next. Existing has become this lonely yet chaotic void where everything I care about disappears and I’m left with apathy. And when I’m not feeling that, it is a constant nagging loneliness. It will be nine years since my first diagnosis and there is only so much I can take. I don’t want this. I want to go back to the life that I only glimpsed at. To be social and happy and have purpose. There were things I loved and had passion for. Now they are something I have to fight for everyday. The saddest part is that one of the biggest things keeping me grounded is my cat and how much she needs me. She wouldn’t understand. I don’t want to be broken anymore.August 10, 2016 at 10:39 pm #161982
@jesslb429 You’re never butting in, and you’re not an annoyance. You’ve contributed so much to helping others in this thread. Do you want to have a private chat? Just a chill conversation.August 10, 2016 at 10:56 pm #161983
@radladdy, you can shoot me a PM. I might not be up for much longer. It is nearly 2am here and on top of everything I’m feeling, I’m getting a little tired at the moment. So I might not respond til morning. I know that being tired can make it worse. Mostly, I’m just tired of feel all of it constantly. I needed to put it out into the ether. But thank you for being here.August 10, 2016 at 10:57 pm #161984August 12, 2016 at 10:08 am #162028
Becky retweeted a story Christopher shared that’s written by Eric Salczynski through medium.com (thanks for the meta-share Becky). It only takes a few minutes to read, but when I did, I had to sit down and start comparing that to myself. I also find it incredibly disturbing that the internet of all places, is doing a better job of understanding me than my own stubborn and judgemental family. I don’t know what to make of this. Have a read and reflect a bit.August 13, 2016 at 11:30 am #162087
This is kind of a random post, and in all honesty I don’t know if I should be typing it here because it’s no where near as serious as other people’s issues, but I would like know if anyone has had similar problems.
Basically, I’m gay, and coming out has been something I’ve held off far too long for but finally started doing this year. I’m out to immediate family and close friends (also you guys now I guess) and everything’s been fine, and everyone is supportive and great and I’m happy. However, being gay, I’ve always felt a weight on my shoulders and never really felt like I’ve fit in anywhere really. After coming out I expected that weight to be lifted, as I’ve heard that usually is the case when you come out. That has not happened. I still feel weird, alien, different and not quite…. Right I guess?
Anyway what I mostly want to know is if any other gay (or not gay) Turbos have had similar issues and if there’s a particular reason for it.
Thanks for reading this, and also big thanks to Raddy for even starting this thread because this sort of shit is a big fucking deal for people and venting stuff can really relieve a lot of stress.August 13, 2016 at 12:10 pm #162089
@theminett Don’t worry about posting in here “because it isn’t as serious as other people’s issues”. So many people have said the exact same thing before XD Everyone’s problems matter and you’re always free to vent here. And I understand how stressful it can be.August 13, 2016 at 2:15 pm #162093
Gay turbo here :P
I definitely identify with what you’re describing. I don’t know if what I went through matches your experiences, so feel free to tell me that I’m way off.
For me, coming out was a let-down of sorts because even after all the stress and buildup and anticipation, it didn’t really change much. People were accepting, my family talked about how much they supported me, and then life continued. If anything, it made some awkward situations weirder because now everyone else was awkward with me.
I think it took me a bit to realize that coming out didn’t fix anything, it just gave me the tools to fix things myself. Instead of being stuck in awkward silence, I’m now able to show that I care about myself and speak about it, knowing that people support me.
Basically, coming out didn’t make me any more normal; it gave me the ability to express my uniqueness without worrying that other people wouldn’t care. They call it Pride for a reason! Being gay isn’t normal, but normalcy is for losers anyway :P
Not sure if that helps at all, but that’s my two cents. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything :)August 13, 2016 at 2:37 pm #162094
@radladdy I know, I know. Just don’t want to seem like I’m taking the limelight. ;)
@thescowler honestly that reply couldn’t have been worded better. I know exactly what you mean, and to be fair I figured it might just take a bit of time for me to get used to things and properly talk about this kind of stuff. You’re totally right though, being normal is boring. ;D
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.