Dealing with stress/depression/anxiety; We're here for you

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This topic contains 502 replies, has 59 voices, and was last updated by  hrotgarmr 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #155810

    RadLaddy
    Member

    Since becoming a Turbo last September my life has dramatically improved. I’ve met so many fantastic people that I can’t wait to meet one day. I’ve also seen people with a variety of issues, some of whom I’ve had the fortune to talk to and support. Whatever you may be dealing with, be it depression, suicidal thoughts, or just stress, I wanted to make this thread to give people an outlet to talk about these things. A common theme I’ve seen is Turbos thinking they don’t matter to this community. Now this thread isn’t to group all these issues together just with a simple “Get Well” message every now and then. Everyone’s problems matter and I want to be there to help everyone dealing with this. We shouldn’t be afraid to talk if we’re having trouble, nor should we think that our problems are stupid. Everyone needs something different, but I just want people to know that me and hopefully other Turbos are here for you. I’ve got problems myself, but this community and more specifically this thread are helping me deal with them. Other turbos have supported me and the intention of this thread is to talk it through, before it’s too late. You’re not alone.

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Viewing 30 replies - 391 through 420 (of 502 total)
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  • #167971

    MrHeidenSeik
    Member

    Well shit, I just got laid-off from my job. This sucks.

    #167974

    RadLaddy
    Member

    @mrheidenseik Awh man, that fucking sucks. Sorry, buddy :/

    *hugs*

    I’m confident that things’ll be alright. And that you’ll be able to get a job back or somewhere else. You can do this duder, I believe in you.

    I hope that you can deal with it well, I can imagine it being really difficult but remember that we’re here for ya and that things will turn out okay.

    It’s possible that I’m blowing this all out of proportion, but either way you have my support.

    #167981

    neonte13
    Member

    @mrheidenseik Hang in there, Herr Heiden! That really does suck ass, but I believe in ya too! (Sends an even better hug than Raddy’s to upstage him.) :-P

    Also, @inevitable , not that I know your situation inside and out, but I’d guess it’d be better to bite the bullet and talk to him. If you want, you could go the white to very light grey lie route, and say you thought you’d told him. Either way, if you guys had a relatively decent relationship before, I think you’d regret, much more, letting one year become several.

    #168006

    missblow
    Member

    @inevitable I’m with @neonte13 on the lil’ white lie route saying you thought you’d told him (if it even comes up). Much better than never speaking again I’d think. Good luck bud.

    #168016

    Inevitable
    Member

    @mrheidenseik Oh shit, I’m so sorry. :( I hope you find some place that will appreciate you! Good luck.

    And to everyone offering advice, I appreciate it. :) I feel a lot less shaky about it now. Thanks for your support! <3

    #168060

    Ah Father’s Day… used to be on of my least favorite days of the year. There was no one else on this planet I wanted to see or gift less than my father. Yet every year, the calendar said I was supposed to pretend for a day like he was the greatest person alive. For my mother’s sake, I’d play along at least a little, but it was sheer torture. Thankfully he drank himself to death about three years ago, so the pretending is over. It’s still a little annoying though, as everyone always asks me if I’m feeling sad today and thinking about him, and I’m expected to go visit his stone at the graveyard and feel something. All I feel is indifferent and bored.

    I remember his funeral, sitting there bored out of my mind. And when I was paraded through the line of people to pay final respects, I remember looking at him and feeling like I was looking at a complete stranger. After decades of abuse, I suppose I just disconnected from feeling anything for him at all. Oh well… life goes on I guess.

    #168065

    neonte13
    Member

    @pranceswithwolves I’m sorry you’ve gotta deal with that, now, and deeply sorry you had to deal with the abuse.

    I do get why people are big on respect, but I wish they’d dial it back a bit, especially when they don’t have anywhere near enough information to know. But, if they do have that information and still give you shit, I have no time for them. I’ve met a few people like that, (though just as an observer) and frankly it’s like they’re in a cult, or something. I’d have time for them if they were ready to deal with whatever issues they have, but as long as they’re giving people shit who really don’t deserve it… fuck ’em.

    And life does go on. Plenty of time to be a badass and do badass stuff! Maybe some day, there’ll be a PrancesWithWolves Day, and we’ll all be like, “Shit yeah! It’s PWW Day! That’s the best holiday ever, except the one where we get all those presents and eat a whole buffet!” Second best holiday sounds pretty impressive to me! ^v^

    #168176

    damauci
    Member

    First of all, I am really glad that this thread exists. As someone who’s battling depression for quite some time now, it means a lot to me. Expecially since I just recently got my university degree and feeling kinda lost (again) at the moment without a clear direction. Searching for a job sucks…!

    @pranceswithwolves I don’t know if it’s too late for that, but I experienced that language itself can be helpful with coping. I once knew someone who also had a bad relationship with their father. They didn’t even call this person their father anymore, just by his first name or more often something like “genitor” (I dunno if that’s the right english word for it). Something like… if you didn’t consider that person your father …he’s not your father.

    #168183

    neonte13
    Member

    Hang in there, @damauci! I believe in ya! And, I don’t know what you studied, but I think that’s a pretty common situation for a lot of college grads. If your university offers any help with that stuff, even just job fairs and shit, you probably already are taking them up on it, but if not, maybe do? I’m sure it’s not as easy as, “Oh! Herp derp. Just do the obvious thing!” though. lol

    And I know what you mean. I think it’s just a temporary coping mechanism, mostly, but it can help. At the very least, it could possibly help sort out who didn’t mean any harm with their respecting parents schpiel, and who’s stuck in the respect cult. Unfortunately, it tends to get the latter group all riled up and ready to yell at victims for not worshiping their abusers. Luckily, I think these people are fewer and farther between than they used to be, but they’re still around, and I just really wish I could sit them down and talk some, fucking, sense into them.

    #168199

    damauci
    Member

    @neonte13 Thank you for the kind words. I actually studied graphic design (with a slight emphasis on game design), and I don’t think the actual job sitution will be that bad for me. It’s more or less my brain situation making things worse. As always ;)

    I don’t know if this is a common thing or has been addressed here before, but I always found it curious that, in times when I suffer from depression, I never really realize that I’m depressed. Mostly only on “good days” I can look back and actually realize what was going on then. If you’re depressed you can’t really think straight, I guess. And therefore it really helps convincing yourself that “there will be good days.” Just my two cents.

    #168231

    MrHeidenSeik
    Member

    Its currently 12 am and I work in 4 hour, but cant fall asleep. My mouth and throat is dry and my nose is stuffy making it hard for me to breath. And I’m having anxiety thinking about being sleep deprived at work tomorrow. What are some things you have done that have helped you sleep at night? At this point I just plan on calling in sick but since this is my last week at my job I really need all the money/hours I can get.

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    #168237

    RadLaddy
    Member

    @pranceswithwolves @damauci <3

    Yeah damauci. I’d definitely agree with that. Everything tends to feel hopeless and suffocating and you don’t go “hey, I’m certainly depressed right now!” It’s just a state of being with no obvious rhyme or reason that you yourself can’t easily recognise. Those you felt you could confide in become hostile in your mind, and your favourite things become the most boring. There is no thinking straight. But we get through it, it passes, and there always are the good days. And looking back can be dangerous, regretting the things you said, and starting the cycle over again. But still it’s good to realise what sort of state you were in, what it feels like. To contrast it.

    @mrheidenseik :/ *hugs* One thing I’ve done often is listen to nature sounds on youtube, usually helps me get to sleep quickly. For me it’d be thunderstorms but of course that’s not for everyone. The sound of the rain calms me down. Other than that, sometimes I listen to straight up music, or put on some VGA playlist on youtube that occupies my mind, relaxes me until I eventually doze off. Of course that last one usually tends to leave my laptop completely dead come morning, but still it’s worth it. Usually, unless out of sheer exhaustion, I can’t get to sleep without some sort of distraction and the tranquility stemming from it. Take breaths as deep as you can, everything will be ok bud.

    #168238

    K-16
    Member

    Hear RadLaddy out. He’s somebody who definitely understands what you’re going through. From my perspective and what I know about him, he’s doing everything he can to deal with these intense pains and sufferings, and yet here he is offering assurance and advice, because he understands how confusing it is to suffer like this so he can relate to you guys very well. Seeing RadLaddy talk about good days makes me think he’s never stopped fighting to live a life. So hear him out.

    Sometimes I think depression is kind of like a never ending train ride. There are dark tunnels and light areas and it’ll repeat. So embrace the light areas, and do whatever it takes to ride out the dark tunnels, but remember that there’s no reason to do it alone when there’s others who can at least put you on the right first step (I’m not saying track! That’s a terrible pun!), and from there you can deal with the second step (I mean, we can only do so much from a forum). I don’t know if depression really is a train ride (according to YouTube, it’s more akin to a sudden and random coldness after soaking in a hot bath), but it’s an analogy I’m kind of noticing with both everyone else and myself. It never ends, but there are ways to deal with it, while there’s also good moments in between where there’s nothing to deal with.

    #168265

    Inevitable
    Member

    @k-16 Well said.

    #168381

    howlinwolf93
    Member

    So despite going turbo a while ago (and having been a fan of the show for even longer), it’s only recently I decided to really try and interact with this community. Getting involved with an online community in general like this is also something I find a bit alien anyway. So its encouraging seeing a post here that I find so relatable and feel I can make a post in. I have issues with both depression and anxiety and while I perhaps won’t go into as much detail as others have here, I will say that I echo everyone else’s appreciation for you starting a discussion on something like this, not only as I happen to be going through a particularly difficult episode of this right now, but hopefully it’ll encourage me to interact with all you guys a bit more further down the road.

    #168383

    damauci
    Member

    @howlinwolf93
    I can totally empathize. Just like a week ago I decided to be more socially active online, that’s why I started writing in this forum again. Also, I’m sure there are better days right around the corner :)

    @radladdy @k-16
    Thanks for sharing your experiences. In most cases, openly talking about this stuff can help a lot.

    @mrheidenseik
    Last year, when I had to radically change my sleeping schedule for a new job, I made it a habit to drink a cup of calming tea before going to bed (I think it was valerian tea I got from the drugstore)

    #168474

    MrHeidenSeik
    Member

    I just wanted to share my excitement with everyone and hopefully inspire you or at least give you a chuckle. I am currently 20 years old and have never learned how to ride a bike. My whole life I have tired many times but I usually gave up from either embarrassment or being scared that I would fall and hurt myself. Since I lost my job I have had way more time and energy to do things so I decided that I would once again try to ride a bike. At first I just rode around in my garage trying not to be seen by anyone, at first I could barely stay on the bike longer than 2 seconds but I didn’t give up. By the next day I could ride from one side of the garage to other but I started getting bored of going in a straight line, stopping, flipping the bike around and going the other way. Today I said fuck it and took the bike into my backyard for everyone to see, I stopped caring what other would think of me because I was far to excited to feel the fresh air go through my hair as I rode down the street. If there is one thing I can tell anyone you it would be to never give up, if you fail try again until you succeed. Anyways enough rambling thanks for reading this and have a good day.

    #168475

    missblow
    Member

    Rock on @mrheidenseik! Good for you duder. I’m proud of you ;)
    Also – welcome @howlinwolf93

    #168490

    neonte13
    Member

    @mrheidenseik, nice! And, you only look stupid if you’re not wearing a helmet. (Which you are, right?) I’m sure there are normal use cases where people can probably get away with not, but the basic risk gets multiplied by inexperience and even just conditional things. It’s not like you need to be terrified or anything, just please be safe, especially starting off.

    I fucking love biking, so I’m glad to hear you’re getting in on that joy. I need to figure out what’s up with my damn back, and get back to it, ’cause it is a ton of fun.

    #168601

    VooDoo
    Member

    Hey everyone. I don’t know how to write this correctly, probably because I don’t tell anybody, but I probably should.

    I hate myself. I think I’m a failure. Not because of my performance in school, or my progress of being a programmer. It’s because not only I set standards WAY to high for myself, goals that’ll I will never accomplish (Ex.Try not to only get A’s and B’s on grades), and I hate myself for not being able to get there. Also, some people treat me like garbage. Either because I’m a failure, or I’m a nerd. Either/or. There are a total of like 8 people, who I can trust in real life, to actually be my friend.

    And it doesn’t help that all my friends that I do gain, I lose. Because in a few years, maximum, I have to move. While that’s happening, family members die, when that happens, my grades go down to C’s (which is unacceptable for my family), which makes me hate myself even more. It’s a constant snowball effect.

    Sometimes, I feel like a disappointment. A disappointment to my parents, friends, family, etc. The only time I can push all that stuff aside is if, I’m playing Destiny, talking to friends, Overwatch, and sleeping.

    Potentially, nobody cares. And that’s okay. I need a way to vent this stuff out.

    Night dudes. Ilu guys though. <3.

    #168602

    neonte13
    Member

    First of all, C’s are not failures, but if I might go a bit pretentious for a moment, (hopefully just the one moment)…

    It’s not failure that makes the VooDoo, but what VooDoo does, in the face of (perceived) failure.

    I mean, goals are fine. Nothing wrong with goals, but we’ve gotta learn to see significant successes when they’re hidden in overly specific failures. Granted, the grades are important, but are you actually learning the stuff? That’s a lot more than a lot of straight A students will have going for them, after the tests are done and a couple months have gone by.

    Note: I say, “we” because I’m nowhere near having this sorted, not just as a general, “we” meaning people.

    I feel for ya on the moving around. I’ve heard that can make things really hard, even outside of making friends. So, have one of my best e-hugs, on the house!

    And one of the few certainties in life is that no one grows up exactly how their parents want, but consider that a parent would surely want their kids to be perfect parents. What does this tell you about parenting? Like everything else in life, errybody shits the bed, at least a little.

    I mean, really, I imagine your parents probably just want you to end up being successful and happy, and they see good grades as a crucial step along the way. It’s not exactly a crazy thing to want from your kids, but it’s important to maintain the right balance of discipline and support… something I’m very glad I don’t have to figure out, if I’m honest.

    I guess the important thing is that even if your parents are d-worded at you for something specific, that genuinely DOES NOT mean you’re a disappointment. Just, for a specific thing, to specific people, for a specific period of time, you might have slightly shat the bed. Everybody does it, and it’s not the end of the world, so let’s metaphorically wash those metaphorical sheets and go kick some also metaphorical ass! Yeah!

    #168604

    VooDoo
    Member

    @neonte13
    I guess? But it’s not parents. They’re great. It’s just when I want to impress them, when I want to go over and beyond, I can’t do that. I do get what you are saying however.

    #168608

    neonte13
    Member

    Oh, that’s good to hear, that they’re bein’ good guys, then! :-)

    I still think, if you can manage it, you shouldn’t be beating yourself up so much, as it seems to me that you really don’t deserve it. Also, one of the biggest impediments to success is dwelling on failure. Of course ya need to analyze what went wrong, sometimes, but it’s immensely counterproductive to bully yourself about it. Don’t bully poor VooDoo! I like VooDoo! :-P

    #168667

    VooDoo
    Member

    I’ll try to be better about not beating myself up. Can’t guarantee it though. :(. Thanks for talking to me though @neonte13. It really does mean a lot to me.

    #168669

    neonte13
    Member

    I know, it’s hard to avoid sometimes, eh? It’s definitely worth working at, though. And no problemo, dude! I’m glad I could help. ^v^

    #169125

    So I don’t think I’ve ever really posted here, at least regarding my own issues, but here goes nothing. So a few months ago a bunch of stuff went on that I’d rather not get into, and it ended up really shattering my self-esteem. I’ve just felt really worthless and like no one wants me around. As such, I’ve been really sensitive to anything that feels like I’m being rejected or ignored, and will let people know this because I’m awful at keeping my feelings to myself and want to feel like I’m doing something to fix it rather than just moping in silence. Which usually just ends up causing conflict and/or making me come off as needy and ungrateful, since the issue only seems like a big deal to me. So I feel even worse about myself since I know I’m probably just being whiney, but also because I think that if they actually liked me they would do something about whatever they’re doing that’s upsetting me, even if they’re already doing their best. Which I know is selfish, so I feel worse about myself, and it just keeps feeding into itself. Some turbos have already had to deal with me like this and are probably really mad at me.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  .
    #169327

    JSmart
    Member

    I think it’s time to give an update on my situation. Last time, I posted about some quite serious stuff and how my life was slowly turning around and getting better. Well, just recently, I landed my first real job as a professional animator and am finally on my way to my life goal of working on a AAA video game title. I finally feel as though university paid off and the toughest part of my life is over and done with.

    Another thing I need to do, is thank this community. Sounds a bit weird but let me explain. So, I’ve added a lot of people on PS4 from this community and recently, I started talking and playing Overwatch with them (won’t say who for privacy reasons). Later on, we created a PS4 group chat and they invited this person on who was a good Mercy. Well, in the past week, me and her (the Mercy player) have been talking for about 6 hours every single night, staying up waaayyyy too late for my own good, making each other laugh the entire time and just having an absolute blast. And, just recently, it finally became comfortable enough to say that we are…… together. (Yes, in basically one week. I know, it’s crazy!)

    It is a long-distance relationship (France and Scotland), but I can already say it’s the best relationship I have ever been a part of.

    If I never joined this community or became friends with people here, this would have never happened.

    My life is the best it has ever been right now. I feel absolutely ecstatic 24/7 and am never, ever sad or depressed anymore. For anyone here that is going through a rough patch, know that it gets better. Anyone can do it. Just push through the tough spots!

    #169331

    RadLaddy
    Member

    Hey everyone, wanted to pop in here to say that I’ve been quite busy for a while. Which is why I haven’t replied for a good bit to people. Or at least not had the capacity to do so. Anything I would have said wouldn’t be worthwhile, and would feel insincere. Curt and not particularly helpful. Can’t really decide whether I should apologise; I just want to provide my support where I can. Yet I am also aware that half the relief comes from the venting and the openness, and that a reply is not at all, or at least, not always, necessary. And so what I’ve settled with is that I don’t need to say sorry. But everyone here has been on my mind and I hope that things have improved, or at least that everyone is coping and staying strong. <3

    @jsmart That’s awesome man!

    I’m really interested to hear where that goes. Animation can certainly be tough as balls, heh, but in the right hands makes something beautiful. I demand you keep us updated on this road to a AAA videogame title :P

    That’s fantastic to hear bud. And kind of really adorable. Overwatch has done a lot, for many, many people in this community, myself included. But it’s a testament to the community itself that they both facilitate each other. I know far too many Turbos that met through OW, ones I’ve met the same way as well.

    Just… awh! I’m really glad that you’re doing so well and that you’re happy ^-^ <3

    It does always get better. There’s always a silver lining, then the next and the next and the next; till the little things become real, big powerful things, feeling wise, and outweigh those pesky tough times. Again, stay strong, know that we’re here for you, and that everyone can be strong enough; if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

    #169335

    JSmart
    Member

    @radladdy Thanks for the kind words :). It’s this forum and community that have helped me talk about this kind of stuff. I have never, in all my life, talked about my feelings this much but I just feel so comfortable here.

    I’ll definitely keep you updated on the AAA road. My end goal is to work at Rockstar Games since they are close to me. Let’s hope I can get there in the next decade!

    #169347

    RadLaddy
    Member

    @jsmart Edinburgh area eh? Awesome! Here’s hoping!

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